Thailand Forums

Not long after I first started to visit Thailand, I began to use the internet as a way to find information. More often than not, that information would be found through one of the many Thai related forums. At first, like many others, my searches would relate to issues with my then Thai girlfriend and the forums were always a great help. A valuable source of experience where almost any question could be answered.

One reason why I kept coming back to the forums in addition to that search for information, was that they helped fill the “down time” in between my trips. Not being able to live or spend as much time as I would have liked in Thailand, for me the forums were a way to live out my own daydreams through reading the experiences of others. Over time and with further trips, my interest in Thailand increased. As I continued to learn, not only through the forums, but from my own experiences, I found that I could contribute more and offer opinions and answers of my own rather than simply relying on the knowledge of others. The more I contribute and interact with other members of certain sites, the more time I seem to spend browsing the threads.

I am now a member of at least six or seven Thailand based forums, but of those I would say I am a regular contributor on maybe only two of them. In recent years the stand-out forum for me has been thailand-uk.com. As its mostly aimed at UK members with Thai wives or partners, thailand-uk has been of particular help to me. Above all else, for me it offers a common ground, something which all of its members can relate to. Overall, I think this helps create a much more friendly and accepting atmosphere that just can't be found on any other forum. Not only did the members of thailand-uk help me when my wife and I went through her spouse visa process last year. But they have been a constant source of support in other area's, and not always necessarily anything specific to Thailand. I would go as far to say that I consider some members as friends. Albeit “virtual” friends. One post recently described the members as a kind of family, and I have to agree. One of the benefits of a forum is that we can maintain a relative level of anonymity. We can pick and choose which information we choose to share or keep to ourselves. That level of anonymity can often make it easier to discuss matters which we would not be able to talk about our own close family members.

Those are the positives. However, as with all forums there are times when members do not agree with certain posts, opinions, or attitudes of other members. Nothing new there. After all, it's only to be expected given the broad range of characters that make up a forum membership. More recently, for whatever reason the atmosphere on the forum has been a little strained, some threads have become heated and the mods have had to step in and remove offensive posts. I usually choose to avoid these types of thread and I have found myself taking a step back from the forum over the past few days and weeks. As a result I found myself looking to bridge the gap and joined a couple of additional forums which I'd previously not bothered with.

What an eye opener it has been, and not in a good way. One common criticism of thailand-uk is that its often too heavily moderated. But after spending time on these other forums, it is obvious just how important that moderation is to the success of a forum and what a good job the mods on thailand-uk do on a daily basis. I have been amazed, not only at the lack of respect for fellow members on these other forums. But by some comments which border on racism toward their own wives or partners. These posts seem to go either unnoticed, which I find hard to believe, or the mods simply don't care what others write about. The members of these sites seems mostly to be made up of bitter ex-pats living in Thailand. The unfortunate thing, is that they give the rest of us with Thai partners a bad name.
When I started this post the last thing I wanted to do was make it sound like some kind of love letter to any one specific forum. If thats how it comes across, well thats not how I intended it to be. But I certainly have a new found respect for thailand-uk.com

http://thailand-uk.com/forums/forum.php

This has given me a chance to evaluate how I choose to spend my spare time. There have been occasions when my wife has commented on how much time I spend on the computer. I hadn't really given it a second thought until now. When I think about it, she's absolutely right. If there is such a thing as a forum addict, then I probably fall into that category. Maybe this has been a bit of a wakeup call for me. As useful and friendly as the majority of these forums are. I think its about time I spent more time talking and discussing issues with my wife rather than tapping away at a computer screen.  At least for a little while anyway ;)

Cheers
Steve

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Important changes to settlement/family migration from 9th July 2012

In July last year I made a post relating to a consultation of proposed changes for settlement visas.  Last week the confirmed changes were announced and will come into effect from 9th July 2012.  The basics of the changes are as follows, from the UKBA website:-

• introducing a new minimum income threshold of £18,600 for sponsoring the settlement in the UK of a spouse or partner, or fiancé(e) or proposed civil partner of non-European Economic Area (EEA) nationality, with a higher threshold for any children also sponsored; £22,400 for one child and an additional £2,400 for each further child;
• publishing, in casework guidance, a list of factors associated with genuine and non-genuine relationships, to help UK Border Agency caseworkers to focus on these issues;
• extending the minimum probationary period for settlement for non-EEA spouses andpartners from two years to five years, to test the genuineness of the relationship;
• abolishing immediate settlement for the migrant spouses and partner where a couple have been living together overseas for at least 4 years, and requiring them to complete a 5 year probationary period;
• from October 2013, requiring all applicants for settlement to pass the Life in the UK Test and present an English language speaking and listening qualification at B1 level or above of the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages unless they are exempt;
• allowing adult and elderly dependants to settle in the UK only where they can demonstrate that, as a result of age, illness or disability, they require a level of long-term personal care that can only be provided by a relative in the UK, and requiring them to apply from overseas rather than switch in the UK from another category, for example as a visitor; and
• restricting family visit visa appeals, initially by narrowing the current definitions of family and sponsor for appeal purposes, and then, subject to the passage of the Crime and Courts Bill, which was published on 11 May 2012, removing the full right of appeal against refusal of a family visit visa.

So how will this effect my wife and I? 

The only real change to affect us will be the new higher level of English requirement, which comes into effect from October '13.  As Janny's current visa expires after that date, she will have to apply for ILR (Indefinite Leave to Remain) under the new English requirement.   In addition to the B1 test she will also have to pass the LITUK test.  Before the announcement we had been leaning towards applying for an FLR extention when Janny's current visa expires.  This would have given her more time to study for the LITUK test but unfortunately that will no longer be an option for us.  We are a little unfortunate.  Had Janny arrived in the UK only a month or two earlier she would be able to apply for ILR under the current rules by passing the LITUK test OR completing an ESOL course.  The either or option will now be made obsolete. 

It just goes to show that you really can not afford to relax and should constantly keep an eye on the changing immigration rules and how they may affect you, even when already here.  I guess the plus side (if we have to find any) is that Janny will still be able to apply for ILR when her visa expires and not have to wait for 5 years like under the new rules.

I have to say I really feel for anyone applying under the new rules......more so for those who will unfortunately not meet the minimum salary requirement for sponsors.  In effect, those people have been banned from living with their spouse here in the UK

The UKBA announcement and link to the full statement of changes can be found on the following link:-

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/sitecontent/newsarticles/2012/june/13-family-migration

Steve
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Loss

I wasn't sure how to start this post.  I'm still not even sure if I should be writing it at all.  That said, when I first started this blog, the idea was that I'd share everything along our journey.  Not just the logistics and hoops of my wife's visa requirements, but also the highs and lows which we both face along the way. 

The past month has seen a mix of both.  Things started off well.  My wife landed her first job here and things are going well.  The staff are friendly and Janny is happy to be earning her own money, however small.  Around the same time, we found out that Janny was pregnant with our first baby.  We had only been trying for a month or so and were a little surprised at just how quickly it all happened, but we were ecstatic to have it confirmed.  Our first appointment with the midwife was booked for later this month and with each day I began to relish the thought of becoming a dad for the first time.

Unfortunatley, over the past week our luck has changed.  After a nightmare four day wait, on Tuesday it was confirmed that Janny had miscarried and we have lost the baby.  She was nine weeks pregnant. 

On Friday Janny noticed some spotting, which was a worry, but after contacting our doctor, we were told it was common in early pregnancy and not to panic.  The spotting continued throughout the night and by Saturday morning it was much more noticable.  I decided to take Janny to A&E to have her checked out.  At the hospital they took some blood and did another pregnancy test, which again came back positive.  After various questions and checks we were told that, as Janny was not having any significant pain, they still thought everything was fine.  They booked the earliest possible scan, which would be Tuesday morning and basically told us to go home and carry on as normal.  We did just that, with the hope that the bleeding would stop.

By Sunday nothing had changed, rather the bleeding was becoming more heavy and we noticed some clotting.  Each time my wife had a trip to the loo my heart sank.  To me it was becoming obvious that we were losing the baby.  Later that afternoon the clotting was much worse and again I took Janny to the hospital.  This time the doctor was not so confident that all was well.  In the nicest possible way we were told that it was almost certain that Janny was having a miscarriage.  We were told to keep our scan appointment, but other than that all we could do was go home and wait.   

Monday was a long hard day.  I stayed home from work to be with Janny as I didn't want her to be alone.  I tried my best to distract her from what we were both thinking, whilst at the same time preparing her for the outcome of the scan.  Our appointment was scheduled for 08.50 on Tuesday morning, which at least meant we wouldn't have to wait another full day.

Waiting for our name to be called before the appointment was a strange feeling.  I already knew from the days leading up to the scan that it wasn't going to be a happy ending.  I at least was resigned to the fact, even if Janny was still a little hopeful.  During the weeks before, I had pictured our first scan to be a happy event, a chance to have the first glimpse of our baby.  Now it was something to fear and be nervous about.  Although I didn't want to, I felt jealous of the other couples who were no doubt there to share a more happy experience.  I felt cheated of the chance to enjoy our experience and wondered why it had to be happening to us, why not someone else?

During the scan itself the monitor was turned away from us so that we could not see what was on the screen.  The doctor ran the ultrasound over and searched around Janny's tummy.  After a minute or two she turned to a colleague and I heard her say "I don't think I'll bother with the other scan" (as Janny was just under 9 weeks she was scheduled to have an internal probe scan which is used in early pregnancy because the usual scan can't always detect the baby).  "you have to, its protocol" was the colleagues reply.  At that point I knew there was nothing to see.  The doctor proceeded with the additional scan and Janny was shaking as I held her hand. 
Afterward the doctor asked me if I was ok. Janny got herself dressed and we were asked to wait in the councelling room.  I felt numb.  There were no tears from Janny, she simply asked "why our baby not want to stay with us?".  I just didn't know how to answer that.  The best I could come up with, was that sometimes bad things happen to good people, which to me just sounded pathetic, like a bad cliche of no comfort to either of us.  Another blood sample was taken to check Janny's hormone levels and rule out the small chance of an ectopic pregnancy, but we were called later the same day to confirm the miscarriage.

Later that afternoon whilst Janny had a sleep I called my parents and told them what had happened at the scan.  At that point the emotion which had been building up over the previous days became too much and I broke down.  I'm glad it happened then so that Janny didn't see, afterall "men don't cry" right? 

It's now been a few days since the scan.  It was a total nightmare watching things develope as they did, knowing that there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.  However, things have returned to normal quickly and Janny seems to be coping well.  I returned to work the day after the scan, as did Janny a couple of days later.  I was so proud of the way in which Janny composed herself and the dignity she showed at the hospital given the circumstances.  Maybe its too soon and the enormity of such an ordeal has not hit home with me yet; but at the moment I'm not sure how or what to feel.  I don't feel grief like I would if I'd lost a child but I do feel some loss.  I think its a loss of "potential" for what our baby could have been more than anything. 

For now I guess its back to business as usual, carry on regardless.  I'm sure we'll try again.  I know Janny wants to try as soon as we can.  But I must admit I'm a little more cautious about that.  I'm nervous that if the same thing happened again so soon it would be a lot harder to take.  I also think Janny presumes that because she became pregant so easily this time, that it will happen straight away again.  She tells me she doesn't want to lose time, but I don't think we need to rush straight into anything.  We are both still young. 

I could say that these things happen for a reason, but again that to me just sounds like an old cliche.  Plus I don't believe that.  To me its just a fact of life that shit happens and nothing will ever change that.  It's just a case of picking ourselves up and getting on with it.

Thanks for reading, hope my next post won't be so depressing :-)

Steve

Working in the UK, spouse visa

This week Janny started her first job.  After applying for so many "entry level" positions over the past couple of months, we were starting to become down hearted by the lack of response.  Given the current economic situation in our area, even the most basic of jobs seem to be saturated with applicants.  So it was a relief when Janny received a phonecall offering her a part-time job within walking distance of our house.  I think the fact that the manager is a regular traveller to Thailand may have been a factor in landing the job but it has also made her feel a lot more relaxed about working for him too.  It's certainly not big money; but more importantly, Janny feels like she is contributing and making her own money rather than relying on me for everything. 

Is working on a spouse visa legal? 

Anyone in the UK on a settlement or "spouse visa" is entitled to work full-time.  I should however point out that only those on a "spouse" and not a "fiance" visa can work.  Anyone entering on a fiance visa is not elligible to work until after they have married and been granted FLR. 

Requesting a NI number (National Insurance)

When we started looking for work for Janny, the first thing we did was apply for a National Insurance number which she needs to work legally and pay NI contributions (should she qualify).  This was a very simple process.  All I had to do was call the NI helpline which can be found on the Directgov website.  I was asked on what date Janny entered the UK, which type of visa she has and why she was requesting a NI number.  Within a couple of days we received an application form in the post which was simple to fill out.  We returned the form with a photocopy of Janny's passport & visa and a couple of weeks later a letter arrived containing Janny's NI number.
Some people have said that they had to attend an inteview at a jobcentre before being issued with a NI number, but that was not the case with my wife.

A tip when applying for jobs

I'm not sure if this had any effect whatsoever on the outcome of my wife's application; But when we first started applying for jobs I contacted some employers direct.  When I told them my wife is Thai, they asked if she was entitled to work.  I thought maybe this had potentially put off some employers from contacting Janny.  From then on, we amended Jannys CV and on any covering letter we included a statement just detailing that she is fully entitled to work under the conditions of her spouse visa.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/Taxes/BeginnersGuideToTax/NationalInsurance/IntroductiontoNationalInsurance/DG_190057

Steve

Sunderland 10K run for Thai charity

I've been promising myself for weeks that I'll dust off the running shoes and start training again.  With winter temperatures creeping into double figures, daylight hours lasting longer everyday and an expanding waste line, I'm short on excuses not to do it.  After several failed attempts at getting myself back out pounding the streets, today I gave myself the motivation I needed.

I have signed up for the Sunderland City 10K run, which is just over 7 weeks away in May.  I'm ashamed to say I've done practically no training since completing the Great North Run over a year ago; but 10K isn't too far so once I get into a routine it shouldn't take too long to build my fitness levels up.

In addition to my own selfish reasons for starting training, I thought why not do a bit for charity at the same time.  I have decided to try and raise some cash for the Thai Children's Trust who's mission is to support the most needy children in Thailand; orphans, children with HIV and AIDS, street kids, refugee children and children with disabilities. 

http://thaichildrenstrust.org.uk/
https://www.justgiving.com/ThaiChildrensTrust-Sunderland10K-StevenTodd

So, a few painful weeks ahead but I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end.

Steve

You know you're turning Thai when.......

• You secretly can't wait for the next episode of your wife's favourite Lakhorn.  Even if you haven't got a clue whats going on......Eastenders & Corrie just no longer cut it!
• You walk at half the pace you used to
• You try to memorise your dreams before choosing the weeks lottery numbers
• You feel like a movie without a ghost or guru is not worth watching
• You can eat meals which normally you would have considered too hot but now have "no feeling"
• You have worn a buddhist "good luck" string bracelet for years, want to take it off but just cant bring yourself to do it
• You feel the urge to "wai" your parents when you go round for dinner
• You can comfortably eat all of your meals on the living room floor....without feeling like an arthritic old man
• It feels "cool" if the central heating has been on for anything less than 23hrs a day
• You can eat EVERY part of a chicken, fish etc without gagging at the thought

Just a bit of fun and a few things I've noticed about myself.  Feel free to add a few of your own

Cheers
Steve

Thai TV in the UK

Before Janny arrived back in November, I started looking into the availability of Thai TV on the internet as I knew she'd eventually need her fix of lakhorn, movies and music.  At first she wasn't interested, but after five weeks of watching almost nothing other than Come Dine With Me repeats she finally cracked and asked if we could sign up.

So about a week ago we signed up to DooTV.  We decided to go for the basic package of £15 for a three month subscription.  For that price we only get "on demand" recorded shows, but there is more than enough to keep Janny occupied (I gave up looking through the list of movies as there were hundreds) and it seems to update with additional shows every few days.  For a few extra quid you have the option of live tv streaming (£21) as well as HD amongst other packages.

The "on demand" recordings are broken down into drama, film, TV program, music, sitcoms, news, others and covers all the popular chanels.  Each tab then has sub-headings.  For example in the music section you can filter the shows by concert, karaoke etc or the movies can be filtered by Thai or Asian films.

As we both use small netbooks, not ideal for watching TV, I simply bought a VGA cable which connects straight from the netbook to the LCD TV.  The quality is excellent and when connected up to the LCD it really is just like watching a normal TV.  This also means it is easy enough to watch in other rooms in the house (and for me to relegate the wife to the bedroom when I've had enough of the terrible Thai movies).

Pros:-

Price
Selection and quantity of shows
Streaming quality
Keeps the wife happy and up to date with goings on in LOS

Cons:-

I've lost several hours of my life to some truly awful movies.  Hours I will never get back lol :-)

http://www.mydootv.tv/Home

Cheers
Steve